Perfect
by Elanor James
Summary: Rachel tries to move on after splitting up with Finn. She didn't give up on them, but she's trying to change and make him see she's not the only one who's wrong. Rated M for future chapters. Rachel and Finn's POV are gonna be used.
1. Stop Crying

**Disclaimer: I wish I owned Glee, so I wouldn't make (almost)everyone feel so miserable about an episode as I am, and I needed to get it out of my system somehow...and I hope you like Oasis, for a good start!**

**Chapter 1 – Stop cryin****g**

"_I didn't choose Puck to hurt you. You don't have to believe me. Not that I am a good person, or that I am ever gonna be allowed to become one, oh no, God forbidden! I am a bad, selfish, mean person, and that's all I'll ever gonna be. I got it. The thing is that Puck is the only one that somewhat still have feelings, or whatever you wanna call it, for me. Anyways, I'd better go, I'm sorry for wasting your precious time. I do apologize. It won't happen again, I promise you."_

It was the last time she tried to talk to him. She'd promised herself that. And she was gonna fulfill her promise. And she had been eloquent, calm on her speech. No tantrums, no screaming. Just small, silent tears that filled her eyes because of his cold attitude while he walked away from her without looking in her eyes.

A very different Rachel Berry was born since Finn decided to get out of her life.

Or so people would learn and see, because she was so sick and tired of being bullied by everyone that she made up her mind she was gonna change. Not for Finn, for the Glee Club, for anyone else, but for herself. Because she was tired of being lonely.

She would never allow herself to suffer in front of anyone else again. That's why everyone bothered her: for being so honest and open about her own feelings!

**She never had nobody. She'd thought Finn was really in love with her, but in hindsight, what has he really done for her besides being always a coward when she needed him the most?**

**

* * *

**

Today's Glee Club assignment was about being strong. Exactly what she needed to show everyone else: that she was stronger than they'd thought.

She didn't ask Mr. Shue to perform. She's never asked him a solo again, because he started picking on her too, like everyone else, right? But somehow he asked her today, giving her a chance of conveying her feelings now. And she was about to surprise them big time…

- I just wanna say that this song I'm singing today is for myself. There are no implicit messages, for anyone, but me.

_Hold up_

_Hold up_

_Don't be scared_

_You'll never change what's been and gone_

_May your smile_

_Shine on_

_Don't be scared_

_Your destiny will keep you on_

'_cause all of the stars have faded away_

_Just try not to worry, you'll see them someday_

_Take what you need and be on your way_

_And stop crying your heart out_

She felt the surprising exchange of looks she was hoping for, as she wasn't singing a soppy mellow song or a well-known Broadway tune. Fighting the will of crying, courageously she swallowed it and proceeded with the next verse, trying not to look at Finn's confused expression.

_Get up_

_Come on_

_Why you're scared?_

_You'll never change what's been and gone_

'_cause all of the stars have faded away_

_Just try not to worry, you'll see them someday_

_Just take what you need and be on your way_

_And stop crying your heart out_

_We're all of the stars, we're fading away_

_Just try not to worry, you'll see us someday_

_Just take what you need and be on your way_

_And stop crying your heart out_

_Stop crying your heart out_

_Stop crying your heart out_

_Stop crying your heart out_

Everybody stared at her in amazement. They all knew she was supposedly devastated because of Finn. What was she trying to say, that she didn't care anymore?

Finn was pale. Apparently, he suddenly forgot how to breathe. Was she telling him she was gonna move on? Without him? Well, he asked her to leave him alone, didn't he? So now he had to deal with it. Because she was so tired of his selfishness… and she needed to remind him of his own mistakes, because she did something wrong… but he was so good at denial, wasn't he?

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**_I'd like to say some things to you guys..._**

**_Okay, first trial on a Glee Fanfic. I'm having thousands of ideas, but this one is really haunting me because I'm so mad at Finn and Rachel because of last week's episode… Special Education really made me feel bad about watching Glee for the first time._**

**_Another thing I'd like to say: English isn't my first language, so if anyone wanna be a betareader for me I'd appreciate._**

**_Please comment guys, so I'll know if I'm going the right or wrong way about this… help me okay?_**

**_Rated M for future chapters._**


	2. The stepbrother's talk

**Chapter 2 – The stepbrother's talk**

Finn paced nervously on his room, from one side to another, breathing heavily, running his hands through his own hair, a look of deep sadness on his eyes. He thought he was gonna lose it any second now.

Why was he so nervous? After all, he was the one who asked Rachel to stop bothering him with such lame excuses. What she did was really bad, she'd been mean making out with Puck, knowing so well about all that happened between him and Quinn, oh gosh, she should have known so much better than that...

Was it revenge? Payback? For Christ's sake, how many times did he have to tell her that when things happened between him and Santana they weren't dating? SHE was dating that asshole Jesse St. James...

He felt he was the stupidest person ever. Betrayed by his two girlfriends with the same guy. Why does it have to be Puck every fucking time? Why? (Although this time he had to admit that Puck was really there for him, as he decided not to go on with Rachel. Because of what? Maybe Puck is really changing, who knows?)

While a thousand different thoughts crossed his mind all at once, he heard a knock on the door.

- Can I come in, Finn?

It was Kurt. Without noticing, Finn was still pacing nervously.

- Can you lend me a CD that Blaine wants to listen to? I'm pretty sure you have it. _Heathen Chemistry_, Oasis. You have this one, don't you?

- FUCK.

It was all he could manage to say. Now it was official. He used to love Oasis, but since he's heard Rachel singing them this afternoon, it was impossible not to hate it. _Stop crying your heart out…_

- Is everything okay Finn? You look a little distressed.

Finn wasn't very keen on discussing. But if he didn't talk to someone about it, he was gonna explode. And Kurt had always had a gift on reading people so well… better than anyone else he knew.

- No big deal, man. I'm still having problems on dealing with my situation with Rachel since we've broke up. I want people to think I'm holding on, but it's being a whole lot worse than I thought…

Finn knew that Kurt has been in touch with Rachel a lot since he'd asked her to help him on with his Warblers' auditions. And Kurt knew the whole story from her point of view, maybe now it was time to deal with the other part of it. Being impartial now was the best thing to do. He was a hundred percent sure that they loved each other and they definitely belonged together… he had to help them somehow!

- Maybe you can start telling me what happened.

Finn took a deep breath and started telling Kurt everything that happened, until his last conversation with Rachel. Kurt listened to his stepbrother silently, feeling that, although Finn has always been the nicest boy ever, he also knew that he could also be a git. His intentions were always sincere, but his mind sometimes couldn't keep up with his big mouth. He himself suffered with Finn's unintentional harsh words before… Maybe it was time to show him that. And Kurt knew his stepbrother well enough to go straight to the point, because Finn only got things like that.

- You know I've been in touch with her for the last weeks, right?

Finn nodded, as he knew it because Rachel told him so. She promised, no more lies, and she's been keeping him informed about every move she's made, even if he didn't want to know about anything else anymore.

- Yeah, I know.

- So I'll be as direct as I can, ok? You both have issues you need to work on, but now I can tell you that you are as insensitive as any of your stupid bullying friends. And she's way too much insecure and lonely Finn. The worse combination ever. And to make things even worse, you're both too stubborn.

Finn got really upset over Kurt's words. He knew he could be a little dumb sometimes, that he's been selfish in the past, but now? He's been trying so hard to understand her and help her, why was he being accused of something so unfair?

Noticing Finn's hurt look, he tried to ease things up on him a little.

- Why don't you try to remember how have you treated Rachel from the first day you met? Maybe, if you try to see things from her point of view, not yours, you'll be able to understand how she feels.

- I've always tried to understand her, Kurt…

- **Really? You've tried to understand what she felt when she tried to help you with your voice and you kissed her while being with Quinn and ran away almost instantly, leaving her behind, feeling like she did something wrong to scare you off? **

**You've tried to understand her when you wanted her back on Glee and you took her bowling, kissing her again while you were still with Quinn, and Quinn was already pregnant and you were thinking about you, and you only? **

**You've tried to understand her every time she's been bullied by your so called friends, being slushied on a daily basis, being called names, being humiliated because she was not like everybody else? **

**Why everyone pissed you off and lied to you, including myself, about Quinn's baby being from Puck, except for her, that told you the truth immediately when she found out? **

**You've tried to understand why she's decided to make out with Puck? Maybe because Puck used to go out with Santana, so she could be positively compared to be as beautiful as to the girl who hates her the most and to whom you lost your virginity to, not because she wanted to hurt you purposefully?**

**You've tried to understand why she has always been so forgiven towards your selfish attitude of declining her attention and love when she was supposedly threatening your precious reputation, over and over again?**

Finn's eyes were huge right now. Kurt got Finn exactly to the point he wanted him to be: thinking about how things would have been for her so far, not for him. Because he's being in this comfortable position for so long, without thinking too much about what she's been through, but just trying to move on without looking back. Is this fair to her? How insensitive has he been so far?

- I'll let you with your own thoughts right now. Because I think I've said too much already, and you'll need time to digest all of this. I'll talk to you later, ok? Gotta go, or I'm gonna be late.

Kurt left, and Finn was brokenhearted. How could he be so selfish?

* * *

**Ok guys, second chapter bigger than the 1****st****. This one is from Finn's and Kurt's POV towards Rachel's behavior so far, but there's so much more these two will talk about yet… this is only the beginning!**

**I've been watching Glee from episode 1 season 1. And I have to confess: I really love Finn, but he's been acting like a git really… **

**Please don't stop reviewing, your opinion is very important to me!**

**Thanks again!**


	3. I dreamed a dream

_**Chapter 3 – I dreamed a dream**_

Kurt was waiting for Rachel in the comfortable sofa of the Berry's living room to grab a cup of coffee and check how was she holding up so far. He's called her right before leaving his home, after his conversation with his stepbrother. Finn was nervous and Kurt didn't feel like pushing him farther now. Finn needed time to think and find the right thing to do deep inside his heart.

When she finally got downstairs, Rachel looked terribly pale and her loud, lively personality was somehow lost. He felt bad for her. He wanted to cry, honestly. Because while she was THE Rachel Berry, she was the one and only challenge inside Glee Club for him. The only one who had a talent that could be compared to his.

She had her moments, good and bad, like everyone else. But as far as he could recall, she was never selfish. She tried to help people very often. All the time, if you think clearly. She was nice to Finn in the first place, even when he treated her badly, cheating Quinn with her more than once, using her. Because she loved him. She's ever loved him so deeply, and in Kurt's opinion, his feelings were never as deep as hers. That's why he was so hurt, because he was thinking about his reputation. As usual.

Kurt felt really bad about everything. He wanted to say or do something to comfort her.

- How are you feeling today, dear? I feel so bad because it seems like that's nothing I could say to you would make you feel better, I'm feeling so useless!

- That's okay, Kurt. I have to thank you because I've never had anyone in my house from school or Glee before, except for Finn… I'm happy you're here.

Kurt felt a stinging pain in his heart. Rachel's voice seemed so bitter. So full of pain.

- I know how much it hurts to be a misfit, Rachel. Maybe I have a couple of friends, but I had to go to another school to have some peace, and there I have only Blaine, and he's not one of you guys. I am alone there.

- I've never had a mother, Kurt. So I think I know exactly what's like to be alone all the time. I had to learn from the start how to be strong, because I've never had a shoulder to cry on, or a hand to hold mine through my girl's issues. I have two gay dads, it's true, but they're still men, some things are not possible for men to understand. Like cramps, or a baby moving inside a mother's body, even the way men and women look at things is different! As much as you wanna, we'll never be the same! Don't get me wrong.

Kurt listened to her feeling his heart shrinking even more.

- The thing is very simple. Among other things, can you conceive the idea that your mother wanted to know you and when she finally did it, you reminded her of herself so badly that she preferred not to have a relationship with you because of that? My mother said to me it was too late for her to be my mom, but she's decided to adopt a baby to have a fresh start? Nobody knows it, but Shelby adopted Beth, Kurt. Did you know that? Quinn and Puck's baby is my sister! But Shelby doesn't want to be my mom, so I'm still alone. That's what I'll always be. Lonely. Alone. Abandoned for being strong. Growing without a mother made my sensitive, human side to get smaller. Forgotten somewhere inside of me, because I had to learn things on my own. People say I'm selfish and inhuman sometimes. Finn said that to me when we broke up. It's not true, but if I wanna survive, I have to be selfish. Maybe he's right, you know!

And maybe our love is unique. True. But he's never keen on leaving his reputation aside to be with me for real. I'm a handful. Too difficult for him. I don't blame him. By the way, I've been thinking about us for too long, let me tell you something else…

(She couldn't see that while she was talking, Kurt was texting Finn, so he could try to talk to Rachel. He felt so terrible after talking to Kurt and he wanted her back so badly… Kurt left the front door unlocked when he got in, so Finn wouldn't have problems to enter, and now he was right behind the door. He could listen to Rachel speaking, so he stopped when she's started talking about them. He's decided to sit on the steps and wait for the right moment.)

Rachel had her eyes full of tears when she resumed the conversation.

- Finn and I are very much in love. But I know, deep in my heart, that we don't belong together. He's popular, handsome, nice, he's gonna be a very good man someday. Well, for anyone else he's the nicest person ever. But for me, unfortunately, he's not. Maybe because he's never felt the same way I did, and still do, and probably always will. I've always ADORED, WORSHIPPED him. No matter what he did wrong, to me or to other people, I've always forgiven and forgotten because I'm used to be the bad one. Obnoxious. Greedy. Selfish. Me, not him.

- But Rachel…

- No, Kurt. Let me say the truth. I've allowed him to be this perfect picture of a boyfriend. I've put him on a pedestal. It's my fault. How can he value me if I don't do this myself? I've always forgiven him because it was my obligation as a worshipper. He's too out of my league because I've allowed him to be there. He's always been nothing more than a dream. Would you like to know exactly how I feel? Would you let me sing to you?

Kurt nodded, no words could describe his sadness. He knew that she was right. Not completely, but partly.

And Finn was still listening, he could listen to everything sitting on her front steps. Tears rolled down his face because of her last words. He felt so shallow, empty… But he wanted to listen to her now. He knew she was going to sing, because that's how she expresses herself better. And he missed her so much…

Then he listened to the first accords of a song that he knew so well… and worse, he knew this song hurt her so badly he felt even worse, if that's possible… His heart was shattered…

"_**There was a time when men were kind**_

_**When their voices were soft and their words inviting**_

_**There was a time when love was blind**_

_**And the world was a song and the song was exciting**_

_**There was a time… then it all went wrong**_

_**I dreamed a dream in time gone by**_

_**When hope was high and life worth living**_

_**I dreamed that love would never die**_

_**I dreamed that God would be forgiving**_

_**Then I was young and unafraid**_

_**When dreams were made and used and wasted**_

_**There was no ransom to be paid**_

_**No song unsung, no wine untasted**_

_**But the tigers come at night**_

_**With their voices soft as thunder**_

_**As they tear your hope apart**_

_**As they turn your dreams to shame…**_

_**He slept a summer by my side**_

_**He filled my days with endless wonder**_

_**He took my childhood in his stride**_

_**But he was gone when autumn came**_

_**And still I dream he'll come to me**_

_**That we will live the years together**_

_**But there are dreams that cannot be**_

_**And there are storms we cannot weather**_

_**I had a dream my life would be**_

_**So different from this hell I'm living**_

_**So different now from what it seemed…**_

… _**now life has killed the dream**_

_**I dreamed."**_

Finn couldn't stand her singing that song. He knew how much she loved _Les Miserables_, but that was not what has shaken his core… it was her pain. Her tears that he couldn't see but he felt them on her voice. Her broken heart… HE DID THAT TO HER. HE was the selfish one, worthless… She deserved better than him, but he loved her truly! He knew what he felt for her! But he couldn't stand the pain he was giving her!

He had to go away. Kurt didn't understand when he received the message "I can't, Kurt. Not right now."

Kurt couldn't leave her in the state she was in. So he did nothing except holding her and watching these two so in love and so perfect for each other going on living separate lives the most difficult, painful way. He didn't know where to go. What to say. Right now he was also lost in Finn and Rachel's tears. 

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**It took me sooooo long to publish chapter 3 because I've been working so hard...**

**FYI: I dreamed a dream, from the musical "Les Miserables" has different versions, for boys and girls. Rachel sang the song with Shelby, but the original version is this one. **

**Hope you enjoy this one! In 2 or 3 more chapters I'll be finishing, and things are gonna get hot... hehehe...**


	4. No more lonely nights

_**Chapter 4 – No more lonely nights  
**_

Finn was sobbing his heart out inside his car. He couldn't go home like that. He couldn't drive, he couldn't see anything! He'd only managed to keep himself out of sight, so nobody could see him where he was.

The mixed feelings inside his chest were killing him, softly and quietly. He knew Rachel was right, but she wasn't right about everything she said. Maybe he was a jerk, but he had feelings for her he couldn't explain. Yes, one of the most terrible thing he's ever done was trying to make her come back to Glee by taking her out and kissing her. But the truth is that he meant what he said back there. He had feelings for her, and he didn't plan kissing her, and…

_Wait! Man it up, Hudson, take your car back and tell her yourself what you're thinking and feeling! Since when you're a coward? Will you let her go away and regret it forever? She's the woman of your life, c'mon!_

He took the deepest breath of his life, wiped away the tears that were still on his face. He turned back the car, parked in front of Rachel's house. And he knocked on the door. Kurt wasn't there anymore, but somehow she thought it was him, and answered the door saying...

- I've told you I'm okay, Kurt, so… FINN! What are you doing here? Are you here to make me feel even more miserable?

Wow, she was mad, glaring at him angrily. And more beautiful than ever, even with her eyes all puffed because of crying. He also couldn't explain why he got always so turned on when she got pissed and yelled at him. But he wasn't expecting what she had to say, and especially the words she was gonna use to say it…

**- I'm in no mood of taking more crap from you. NEVER, EVER AGAIN! I've been suffering for you for so long and too much, and if you wanna a bitch so you can fuck her as much as you like it, go to Santana and her fucking smiles and teases. I'm no bitch, you horny teenager! I've tried to make you see that I am the right person for you because I've never let you down, because I love you more than life, but can you see that? Oh, no. You can't see that because you're an insufferable selfish guy, and all you can see is me with Puck. So I'll tell you something: I've chosen Puck because if she thinks I'm hot, and if he also thinks Santana is hot, so he's seeing something you're not. Got it? I'm trying to make you feel bad because you treat her right even after what she did to you, to us, how can you talk to her as if nothing has happened and be mad at me about every little thing? Why are you so fucking hurt, and I'm not? You're a fucking tease, a fucking brat, I hate your guts and…**

He couldn't believe he's thought and acted so fast, but that swearing and crying Rachel turned him on so badly... He couldn't live without her, why was he trying to do that?

He grabbed her by the arms, and crushed his lips with hers so violently, while he tried to get access to her mouth with his tongue he held her tightly by her hips as the world would fall down. She was trembling. As much as she tried to push him, she felt like a rag doll, she couldn't move and started giving in, breathing on his scent that aroused her so much and made her literally melt like butter…

- Finn, stop that!

- No, Rach. Just look into my eyes and tell me if his touch makes you feel like mine… if he knows how to make you go crazy…

Saying that with his voice husky of desire, he's started attacking her neck with his lips, pushing her inside her house. His tongue knew the exact point near her earlobe that would make her start moaning incoherently, breathing unevenly, so he started his ministrations on her, feeling her heart pounding…

- STOP FINN!

She slapped him on the face. He stopped kissing her, but didn't give up on talking to her, this time straight from the heart.

**- Okay. You want me to spill it all, you're a girl, you wanna reasons, pros and cons and all that crap. Let's do that properly, so I'll never have to stop kissing you ever again. Sit down and listen, please, with your heart that I know that still loves me… 'cause I've thought I could live without you, but the truth is that I simply can't. And I did too many stupid things, made too many wrong choices… Nothing I could say will mend your broken heart, I know that. I understand you're so disappointed in me that maybe I'll never have the chance to make things right, but please, just let me try… I know you're generous, and that you've never been really selfish… and you're right about Santana, Puck, everything else, it's just that he's so cool and girls like him too much, all of them say he's so hot, and I feel so threatened by him that when you've told me you guys made out I thought you were gonna prefer him… all girls prefer him, I'm so freakishly tall and clumsy and not sexy, and I don't know squat about sex, I don't have his perfect body nor his flawless sex reputation, how did you want me to feel like?**

**I know I did the most selfish, terrible things to you before. But you know Rach, one of the most difficult and amazing things that had already happened to me was when I found out that I loved you truly. When we first kissed in that auditorium, I got lost. It took me so long to realize what I really felt, because you were so different and I was with a girl that everyone called perfect, but she never made me feel like you, never. One single kiss and not a thousand other kisses from her would let me forget that little perfect one…**

She was sitting in the same place she was minutes before with Kurt, and tears were running down her face nonstop. She was hurt, indeed, but the most beautiful thing was happening, one that she thought it would NEVER happen: his complete catharsis on them. He had her when he started saying that he couldn't live without her… but she deserved the whole explanation, and she wasn't gonna stop him. Not now, anyway. She couldn't stop her tears from falling feeling him unraveling right in front of her…

**- I've been trying to remember why I've always let people pick on you, or bully you. Because I'm a stupid, dummy person. **

**I've been trying to understand why I've always let you down, not defending you when people were unfair, offending you in so many different ways. Because I'm a jerk. **

**I've been thinking about why I've left you put me in a higher place than you are, and I don't get it! Okay, that's not true: for me it was very simple and easy to be loved like that, because, apart from my mom, nobody loves me like you. And now I see it's not fair, because you deserve to be loved as a Goddess that you are for me… **

**I've never knew what's like to be bullied, slushied, and when it finally happened to me I was more concerned about MY reputation than anything else… and I'm sorry because I couldn't see that being you isn't that easy. I'm sorry, from the bottom of my selfish broken heart. **

**I understand what you're saying about making out with Puck, and I'm so sorry once again for doubting about your love for me… Actually he's told me you didn't want to carry on with things too. He's told me you've called my name instead of his when he started kissing you harder and there are so many things I wanna say that now I don't remember everything, but the point is: you are not out of my league. You don't have to be like Quinn, or Santana, or no one else. Because I love you, just the way you are. Full of ideas, helpful, organized, always fully prepared to whatever, hot as hell, the perfect girl. The perfect future wife I wanna have. No other girl can thrill me like you do, and even if you don't wanna, I'll wait for you. Forever if I have to. **

And then, without asking for permission or forgiveness, he started singing…

_I can't wait another day until I call you  
You've only got my heart on a string  
And everything a'flutter  
But another lonely night might take forever  
We've only got each other to blame  
It's all the same to me love  
'Cause I know what I feel to be right  
No more lonely nights  
No more lonely nights  
You're my guiding light  
Day or night I'm always there_

_May I never miss the thrill of being near you  
And if it takes a couple of years  
To turn your tears to laughter  
I will do what I feel to be right  
No more lonely nights (never be another)  
No more lonely nights  
You're my guiding light  
Day or night I'm always there_

_And I won't go away until you tell me so  
No, I'll never go away  
Yes, I know what I feel to be right  
No more lonely nights (never be another)  
No more lonely nights  
You my guiding light  
Day or night I'm always there  
And I won't go away until you tell me so  
No, I'll never go away  
And I won't go away until you tell me so  
No, I'll never go away  
No more lonely nights_

_No more…_

- That's it, Rach. I won't go away until you tell me so. What do you have to say?

* * *

Wow! He's starting acting like the one and only Finn I love, what do you think? Your comments help me a lot, so please comment!

**_No more lonely nights, by Paul McCartney._**_ Love the song, love the man!_

_And what the hell happened to Rachel's language? C'mon, she's angry, hurt and frustrated! You will understand it veeeery soon... Trust me... hehehe..._


	5. All the love in the world

**Chapter 5 – All the love in the world**

Electricity. Sheer electricity was flowing all over their bodies, they felt it in the air, even if they weren't touching each other. They were merely looking at each other. When Finn finished his song, they were both so charged with all their own mixed feelings that it was hard for Rachel not to touch him, and for him was hard not to kiss her until they were breathless.

They had tears in their eyes. They were breathing heavily. They felt shivers up and down their spines. It was difficult for them to produce a coherent sentence. Too much information! Too many thoughts, feelings, emotions, too much everything… How is it possible to feel all these things at the same time?

At some point Rachel's sweet voice broke the silence, as soon as she could muster some strength, and she took them out of that exquisite reverie.

- You know you are the first guy I've ever kissed, Finn?

He was absolutely dumbfounded. What? He didn't know what to say. He'd always known she was very innocent about some things, not only sex, and of course he knew she was a virgin, but… she had never kissed another guy before him? Finn sat on the floor in front of her, and stretched out his hand to try and touch her. He felt a faint shock touching her fingers. It was magic. He knew he's never felt like this. And he was sure nobody ever made him feel like her. He smiled genuinely, as he didn't know what to say.

- There are so many things you still don't know about me… For example: do you know when I fell in love with you? When I saw you for the very first time. Do you know when did it happen? I bet you have no idea.

He actually didn't know when they first met. He couldn't recall seeing Rachel before that first Glee rehearsal that they sang the Grease song together.

- On my first day at school, I was looking for my locker. As you know, my locker is near Quinn's. She was already gossiping about me with Santana and Brittany, I could hear them saying something about my clothes. I didn't look at them, I was busy trying to put my things inside the locker before the starting of the first period. They went to the bathroom, when they got back with you and another three football players, all of you had something on your hands, I wasn't looking. Then you've passed by me. You've looked at me and gave me that lopsided grin I love so much, and then you've slushied me.

He couldn't believe what she was telling him. He got desperate, he didn't know what to say to make her see he wasn't that guy anymore.

- Rach, I'm so sorry about my behavior in the past… and I still don't know how you can love me like you do, after all I've done to you… I've slushied you on your first day at school? I don't remember that… You have so many reasons to hate me, I…

- This is part of the past, Finn. I could never hate you because I feel in love with you when you gave me that smile. You were as terrible as everybody else, but I couldn't help myself. You know what? I still can't help myself.

Finn felt so small and helplessly… He didn't deserve her. Nothing would ever make him feel adequate or worthy of her love and care… his heart was beating so fast, it was pounding on his chest, making him breathe unevenly, once again he was speechless.

And she could read his mind, because she knew him so well… To assuage his heart and soul, she would do the only thing he would understand fully right now.

- I know you're feeling terrible. And I didn't tell you that to make you feel worse, believe me. I just want you to know everything about me, about us, Finn. So listen to me now, okay? Very carefully.

He nodded weakly while she touched his face with soft, light fingers, preparing herself to show him her innermost feelings the best way she could: singing.

_I'm not looking for someone to talk to  
I've got my friends, I'm more than okay  
I've got more than a girl could wish for  
I live my dreams, but it's not all they say_

_Still I believe __I'm missing something real  
I need someone who really sees me…_

_Don't want to wake up alone anymore  
Still believing you'll walk through my door  
All I need is to know it's for sure  
Then I'll give all the love in the world_

_I've often wondered if love's an illusion  
Just to get you through the loneliest days  
I can't criticize it, I have no hesitations  
My imagination just stole me away_

_Still I believe  
I'm missing something real  
I need someone who really sees me…_

_Don't want to wake up alone anymore  
Still believing you'll walk through my door  
All I need is to know it's for sure  
Then I'll give all the love in the world_

**_Love's for a lifetime  
Not for a moment  
So how can I throw it away?  
I'm only human  
And nights grow colder  
With no one to love me that way_**

_I need someone who really sees me…_

_And I won't wake up alone anymore  
Still believing you'll walk through my door  
You'll reach for me and I'll know it's for sure  
Then I'll give_

_All the love in the world._

The last verse finished, he got up, not able to hold himself anymore. He first held her tightly, as if his life depended on that.

She could feel the tears rolling down their eyes. There was no turning back; she loved him with all her being, and now it was pretty clear he felt the same.

Cupping her face in his large hands delicately, wishing she could feel his pounding heart beating so fast for her, only her and nobody else, he kissed her like never before, fervently, trying to hold the strangled sob that was already making him sound like a crying baby, he didn't want to cry so loud but he couldn't fight his feelings anymore…

- If you give me one more chance, I'll make you see I'm not that scared boy anymore… well, I'm still a big boy, here I am, crying like a frightened kid who's got lost from his mom in a supermarket, but I swear, Rach, I mean every word, I love you more than life, and the truth is that I can't breathe without you by my side, and…

Now Rachel was sobbing too, holding him so close to her, like he was going to escape, shaking due to the overwhelming flood of emotions that dominated them now…

- You're not going anywhere. I'll never let you go, ever again… I love you so much that it scares me to death... but we're gonna make it, love. Together. You and me.

- Am I gonna be exaggerating if I sing to you again? I have just the right thing to say, but as I'm not so good with words…

- I'd love to hear you singing again, I'll never get enough from your voice, especially singing for me…

__

Maybe I'm amazed at the way you love me all the time,  
and maybe I'm afraid of the way I love you

_Maybe I'm amazed at the way you pulled me out of time,  
you hung me on a line  
maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you_

_Baby, I'm a man, maybe I'm a lonely man  
who's in the middle of something  
that he doesn't really understand_

_Baby, I'm a man  
and maybe you're the only woman who could ever help me  
baby, won't you help me to understand?  
oh yeah_

_baby, I'm a man, maybe I'm a lonely man  
who's in the middle of something  
that he doesn't really understand_

_Baby, I'm a man,  
and maybe you're the only woman who could ever help me!  
baby, won't you help me to understand?  
_

**_Maybe I'm amazed at the way you're with me all the time,  
and maybe I'm afraid of the way I leave you._**

_**Maybe I'm amazed at the way you help me sing my song,**  
**you right me when I'm wrong-**  
**Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you…**_

Confessing his sins, his fragility, and promising a new beginning… that's how Finn Hudson got his precious Rachel Berry back. This time, hopefully, for good.

* * *

_Well... I'm amazed right now with him singing good old Macca again, I just can't get enough of him! The chapter was almost over when I've decided to put him here... Loved it!_

**_All the love in the world by The Corrs._**

**_Maybe I'm amazed, by Paul McCartney._**

_P.S: __Now that they're back, that's the perfect time for sex issues..._


End file.
